Harness self-awareness to become an emotionally intelligent boss.
Imagine if this scenario had happened to you before owning your business: You suggest a thorough and convincing idea to your boss—the company should enter into a new market. Your presentation includes a rigorous market analysis, expected return on investment and a detailed explanation of any risks involved. You finish and anxiously wait for your boss’s response. He pauses and says, “Very interesting, but we can’t justify moving into a new market right now.”
Several weeks later, you attend a senior management strategy session with your boss. Halfway through the meeting, your boss says he has a great idea that the company should enter into a new market. You sit stunned as your boss steals your idea and takes credit for it in front of the senior management team. What do you do next?
A. Jump across the table, and choke your boss.
B. Scream, “That was my idea, and he’s stealing it!”
C. Say nothing and “refinish” your boss’s car with a hammer later that night.
D. Pretend like the incident never happened but start sending out your résumé.
E. Bite your lip during the meeting, and talk to your boss immediately afterward.
The way you respond to this scenario (which actually happened to a coaching client of mine) gives insight into your own emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence describes a person’s ability to recognize and harness the power of emotions as a source of information, connection, energy and influence.
Having emotional intelligence can yield better results in the business world. However, many construction leaders believe emotions should be left out of the workplace. I can still clearly remember my own experience as a new manager when an employee started crying about a personal situation in my office. I remember wishing the new manager handbook had a section that explained what to do with tearful employees.
To achieve results from employees, some business owners and managers believe screaming and intimidation can be useful management techniques. But responding this way can hinder you from being an effective leader.
Dealing with internal conflicts and interpersonal issues can take up a significant portion of your day. And in the meantime, you must get results from employees. At this point, emotional intelligence becomes a critical factor in leadership success. In fact, research shows that emotional intelligence accounts for 85 percent of leadership success, with the remaining 15 percent left to technical skills and operational knowledge.
Achieve Self-Awareness
Self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence. A lack of self-awareness is like a blindfold, causing leaders to trip over themselves constantly.
I remember a boss who would turn red and clench his teeth when he was angry, yet he would insist (loudly) that he was not angry.
A critical component of building emotional self-awareness is identifying your emotional “triggers.” Many leaders do not realize how specific situations affect them emotionally.
For example, one leader I worked with wanted his employees to follow procedures, stick to the plan and keep things orderly. This type of calm atmosphere created a positive trigger for him and led to feelings of control. Conversely, he experienced a negative trigger of fear and anxiety when things went off course, which led him to reprimand his staff and take matters into his own hands.
We all have unique triggers that result in an emotional response, and the most effective leaders invest time to identify them. Understanding yourself is the first step in becoming an emotionally intelligent leader.
Develop Emotional Intelligence
Developing the ability to lead with emotional intelligence rarely succeeds in a formal setting like a classroom or training session. Instead, it requires intentional individual reflection, paired with the guidance and feedback of a committed outside party.
The following techniques will help you achieve emotional intelligence:
Executive Coaching—An executive coach is a professional trained in guiding leadership development. This type of coach can provide a level of candor and insight about emotional intelligence that many senior leaders desperately need.
360-Degree Assessment—Your peers, managers, employees and other parties should assess your effectiveness as a leader. This will help you realize the emotional impact you have on others, which helps build self-awareness.
Mentoring—The right mentor can help you deconstruct situations that occur during work and give you insight into why you react negatively in certain situations. A mentor will also provide practical knowledge and ideas from his or her own experience.
Regular Feedback—Give people permission to give you regular, unvarnished feedback. This will enable you to make adjustments to your emotional triggers.
Reflection—Reflect on events that caused you to have a strong emotional response. Some leaders keep a journal of these events over time.
Energy Management—You need physical and mental energy to respond in an emotionally intelligent manner. At times, we have all displayed a negative emotional response when we are tired. Manage your sleep, diet and physical activity for best results.
Body Language and Voice—Our body language and tone of voice give far more clues to our underlying emotions than do the actual words we use. Leaders high in emotional intelligence can read these nonverbal clues very well.
These ideas are simple, but not easy. They require significant practice and discipline.
The current construction environment brings a host of challenges—intense competition, little- to no-margin work and the need to retain and motivate talent. Leaders will need to develop new skill sets to manage the competitive landscape’s complexity and uncertainty.
The leaders who create a lasting competitive advantage will pair tactical skills of operational expertise and technical ability with the less tangible but equally important skills of emotional intelligence.
Construction Business Owner, October 2011
